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Adult SMS, Hindi SMS Jokes, Shayari, New Adult SMS 2015, Funny Jokes, Wishes

Adult SMS

A bachelor gives an AD in a matrimonial.

A bachelor gives an AD in a matrimonial.
"Wanted - Girl Age no bar, looks no bar, Money no bar, But SEX Baar-baar, Hazaar bar...... Lagataar....!
 

I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriend's

I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriend's hand, 'Cause everytime she'd wipe her rear I'd see the promised land....
 

'Great, just what I need,' she moaned as

'Great, just what I need,' she moaned as he brought home a new microwave oven.
'One more thing that heats up instantly & goes off in 20 seconds.'
 

Dad, what does a vagina look like before

Dad, what does a vagina look like before sex?
A pink rose with loveley details.
And after sex?
Boy, ever seen a bulldog eating maiyonnaise?
 

Bad wolf told red riding hood. Lift your top so i can

Bad wolf told red riding hood. Lift your top so i can suck your tits.
No she said lifting her skirt.
Eat me like the fucking book says!
 

This is a cock sucker detector

This is a cock sucker detector
Please blow in the phone..... .. scanning....
The test was positive 90percent sperm breath...
COCK SUCKER !!
 

There was a young girl from Wick, who asked her mum whats

There was a young girl from Wick, who asked her mum what's a prick, her mother said Annie it goes up your fanny and jumps up and down till it's sick.
 

What do you do if a irish man throughs a pin at you ...

what do you do if a irish man through's a pin at you ... ... you run cause he's got a grenade in his mouth
 

Jack & Jill went 2 the dairy, Jack popped out his

Jack & Jill went 2 the dairy, Jack popped out his big'n airy, Jill said "WOW WOT A WHOPPER let's go home & DO IT PROPER
 

Little miss drugy sat in a buggy smoking a pipe of

little miss drugy sat in a buggy smoking a pipe of weed along came a spider skinned up beside her and sold her some acid and speed.
 

There was a young girl called heather,whos cunt lips

there was a young girl called heather,whos cunt lips were made of leather they made a strange noise that attracted the boys by flapping the edges together
 

Ba ba white sheep grazing on sum grass when a maff

ba ba white sheep grazing on sum grass when a maff official shoots it up the ass burnt by mornin fumes fill the sky less meat 4 kebabs & shepherds pie
 

*Newsflash* The FA have just

*Newsflash*
The FA have just announced garly gliter the next England Coach.
The appontment collapsed after he tried to put seaman in the under 15's
 

At this moment 5 million are having sex 2 million are in

At this moment 5 million are having sex 2 million are in gun fights 91milliom at a party and one sad fucker is reading this SMS
 

Id willingly fertilize Mary, And watch for 9 months

I'd willingly fertilize Mary, And watch for 9 months her shape vary, From the very first day, To the child-birth display, When her tits would turn into a dairy.
 

What did the Dick say to the Condom? Cover me!!! Im

What did the Dick say to the Condom? 'Cover me!!! I'm going in...'
 

What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to

What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts. This is no ordinary blow job!
 

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support people are going to think we're nuts!
 

What is the dumbest part on a mans body? The penis. It

What is the dumbest part on a man's body? The penis. It has a head with no brain, it hangs out with two nuts and it lives around the corner from an asshole!
 

I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriends hand,

I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriend's hand, 'Cause everytime she'd wipe her rear I'd see the promised land....
 

I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh..

I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh.. and creates a creamy foamy liquid as it thrusts in and out, up and down... Can?t wait to brush my teeth
 

Last night I desperately missed you I wanted to feel u on

Last night I desperately missed you I wanted to feel u on my naked body. I had to go to bed without you....where are u stupid pyjamas.....!
 
 
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