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Dirty SMS Jokes

Q:)how do u define tragedy? A:) ur zip gets stuck at the

Q:)how do u define tragedy? A:) ur zip gets stuck at the time of FUCKING.
 

Specialties of girls: They get wet without taking

Specialties of girls: They get wet without taking bath. They bleed without injury. They give milk without eating grass. They make boneless things hard ....
 

Q: What is the height of shock? A: When u r having sex

Q: What is the height of shock? A: When u r having sex with a pregnant woman n suddenly a hand grabs your dick from inside!
 

One day the PENIS tells the balls tonite v r goin for a

one day the PENIS tells the balls "tonite v r goin for a party!" the balls reply "U bloody fuckin liar, u alwayz get inside while v r left outside!!"
 

WHY is sperm donation more costlier than blood

WHY is sperm donation more costlier than blood donation?? . . . . . . . . . . Coz sperm donation is hand made!
 

Little boy asks his dad, Pop how do u spell Vagina? Dad

Little boy asks his dad, "Pop how do u spell Vagina?" Dad says, "Sonny u shud have asked me last night, it was at the tip of my tongue"
 

Sex is good, sex is fine. doggy style or 69. just 4 fun

sex is good, sex is fine. doggy style or 69. just 4 fun or getting paid, everyone loves getting laid. so if u want me in the sack, lick ur lips n text me back.
 

How women think about sex At age 8 ignore it, Age 18

How women think about sex At age 8 ignore it, Age 18 experience it, Age 28 look 4 it, Age 38 ask 4 it, Age 48 beg 4 it, Age 58 pay 4 it, Age 68 pray 4 it, Age 78 4get it
 

Once I catch u ill take u to bed, ill make u hot, ill

Once I catch u i'll take u to bed, i'll make u hot, i'll make u sweat... i'll make u wann groan u'll wish u never had me yours sincerely 'FEVER'
 

Name 3 kings who ve brought

Name 3 kings who ve brought joy in people's lives? A:) Licking! Sucking! and Fucking..!!!
 

Man to the doctor, doc mera khada nahi hota hai Doc: r

Man to the doctor, "doc mera khada nahi hota hai" Doc: r u married? no, do u hv a grlfrnd, no, do u go 4 mujra, no, Doc: to khada karke kya ispe calander tangega.
 

Which is the smallest hotel in the world? Vagina Inn! Coz

Which is the smallest hotel in the world? Vagina Inn! Coz it can accommodate only 1 standing member with his luggage hanging out.
 

A 75 year old man talking to his penis, we were born

A 75 year old man talking to his penis, we were born 2gether, grown up 2 gether, enjoyed life 2gether, had lots of fun 2gether, then why did u die before me?
 

One boy to another wat did u do on mothers day??? 2nd

one boy to another wat did u do on mothers day??? 2nd boy: tried to help every gal to become a mother
 

Prove : AB/AG+2MP+4WD+9MC = ABC . . . . A boy upon a girl

Prove : AB/AG+2MP+4WD+9MC = ABC . . . . A boy upon a girl + 2 mins pressure + 4 white drops + 9 months course = A Beautiful Child.
 

Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..cold, naked, thinking of

Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..cold, naked, thinking of u, missing ur warmth, ur soft touch against my skin. Where were u lastnite, my lovely pyjamas
 

*NEWS FLASH* Snow White has been thrown out

*NEWS FLASH* Snow White has been thrown out Disneyland. she pulled up her skirt, sat on pinnochios face & shouted lie u bastard,lie,lie
 

When are men the smartest? Before, during or after sex?

When are men the smartest? Before, during or after sex? During sex cause they're plugged into a genius!
 

A man is like a toilet hes either free, taken,

A man is like a toilet he's either free, taken, unavailable, engaged, out of order, taking the piss or just full of shit.
 

Great, just what I need, she moaned as he brought home

"Great, just what I need," she moaned as he brought home a new microwave oven. "One more thing that heats up instantly and goes off in twenty seconds."
 

Secy. saw her boss pants zip open, she tell him, Sir

Secy. saw her boss' pant's zip open, she tell him, "Sir ur garage door is open." Boss: Did u c my FERRARI? Secy: I saw a small scooter with 2 punctured wheels.
 

3 guys were introduced 2 a girl, hi Im Peter not a

3 guys were introduced 2 a girl, hi I'm Peter not a saint, hi I'm Paul not a pope, I'm john not a baptist, the girl said hi I'm mary not a virgin!
 
 
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