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Dirty SMS Jokes

A man is doing push ups on the beach, A drunk Sardar sees

A man is doing push ups on the beach, A drunk Sardar sees him and starts laughing loudly and says.. "Sorry to tell you but the women below you has already left."
 

Difference btween power & Stamina? Power is whena man can

Difference btween power & Stamina? Power is whena man can hang wet towel over erect penis Stamina is 2 keep it erect till the towel dries!
 

THE F Rule find her, friend her

THE F Rule find her, friend her, flirt her, fingure her, fuck her, forget her.
 

Love is not measured by HUGGING KISSING & SEX. Its all

Love is not measured by HUGGING KISSING & SEX. Its all abt Trusting, Respecting & Accepting a person with OPEN LEGS, CLOSED EYES, WET LIPS saying "PUSH IT MORE"
 

Good girl: Its hard to be good. Bad girl: Yes. If its

Good girl: It's hard to be good. Bad girl: Yes. If it's not hard, it isn't any good.
 

It has been determined that the most often sexual

It has been determined that the most often sexual position for married couples is the doggie position! The hubby sits up and begs while the wife rolls over and plays dead!
 

Teacher: what do you want to become? lil Johnny: doctor

teacher: what do you want to become? li'l Johnny: doctor !! teacher: why? lj: coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it
 

An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint. Name

An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint. Name pls. "abdul aziz sex? "six times a week!!" no, no, I mean male or female! doesn't matters, sometimes even camel!
 

Sex is like a restaurant. sometimes u get full

Sex is like a restaurant. sometimes u get full satisfactory n service, and sometimes you have to b satisfied with self-service!
 

What makes a happy man? Daughter on the cover of cosmo.

what makes a happy man? Daughter on the cover of cosmo. son on the cover of sports illustrated mistress on the cover of playboy and .... wife on the list of "missing persons"
 

Doc to his lady patient U look so weak and exhausted! R u

Doc to his lady patient U look so weak and exhausted! R u having ur meals 3 times a day as advised? Lady: Doc, I thought u said 3 males a day!!
 

Define a Gynaecologist Someone who looks for problems

Define a Gynaecologist Someone who looks for problems where otherslook for pleasure!
 

Dying U.S soilder : if I culdkiss american flag before

Dying U.S soilder : if I culdkiss american flag before Idie.Nurse: I hav a tatoo of it onmy butt, he kisses it n saysnow turn arund so dat i cankiss Bush 2
 

A girl says to her boyfriend, One kiss and Ill be yurs

A girl says to her boyfriend, One kiss and I'll be yurs forever. The guy says thanks for the warning!
 

Advantages of having an affair with married women...they

Advantages of having an affair with married women...they give like hellthey do not yell,they do not tell,they do not swell,and there r no wedding bells!
 

James Bond boasting 2 girls about new watchBOND: It reads

James Bond boasting 2 girls about new watchBOND: It reads ur mind & tells me u r not wearing panties!GIRL: But I m wearng em.BOND: My watch is ONE hr fast!
 

Whts the diff between hookin circket and hook of bra.One

whts the diff between hookin circket and hook of bra.One sends ball out of boundaryand other keeps balls withinthe boundary!
 

Wishing u a seductive & wondrful day Licked by luv &

Wishing u a seductive & wondrful day Licked by luv & penetrated by heavenly graces & may all ur misfortunes be ejaculated!
 

Wats wrong wit ur cel?Tried callin u so manytimes bt evry

Wat's wrong wit ur cel?Tried callin u so manytimes bt evry time d oprator says: d person u r calling isBUSY HAVING SEX! Pls call l8r
 

Who is stronger, Man Or Woman? A woman coz she lifts 2

Who is stronger, Man Or Woman? A woman coz she lifts 2 mountains on her chest while a man lifts 2 stones with the help of a crane.
 

Luv me Tender!Luv me tender,luv me sweet,rap ur lips

Luv me Tender!Luv me tender,luv me sweet,rap ur lips around my meat,watch & smile,watch me grin,watch the cum drip down my chin!
 

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support people are going to think we're nuts!
 
 
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