Funny SMS


 
 
  Categories  
 
 

--------

Dirty SMS Jokes

Today, in style are small cars, watches, skirts and

Today, in style are small cars, watches, skirts and mobile-phones... It will come the time when SMALL PENIS will be in style, and then you will be the man!
 

Sex is like programing One mistake, and YOU WILL HAVE TO

Sex is like programing One mistake, and YOU WILL HAVE TO SUPPORT IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
 

Dad, what vagina looks like? Before sex: a pink rose with

Dad, what vagina looks like? Before sex: a pink rose with soft lovely pelats and perfum aroma. And after sex? boy, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise!
 

I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh, and

I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh, and creates a creamy foamy liquid as it thrusts in and out, up and down.. Can?t wait to brush my teeth
 

ONCE A NUN GOES FOR A URINE EXAMINATION AND THE SAMPLES

ONCE A NUN GOES FOR A URINE EXAMINATION AND THE SAMPLES GET MIXED UP. The report indicates she is pregnant. WHEN SHE GETS THE REPORT, SHE EXCLAIMS, "OH JESUS!! NOW WE CAN NOT EVEN RELY ON CANDLES"
 

F.U.C.K REMEMBER: if u need a FUCK, u can always count on

F.U.C.K REMEMBER: if u need a FUCK, u can always count on me bcoz F.U.C.K stands for FRIENDS U CAN KEEP. Fuck 4ever, & promise me that we FUCK till eternity!
 

Q. WHY AMERICANS STOP PRINTING STAMPS WITH PHOTO OF

Q. WHY AMERICANS STOP PRINTING STAMPS WITH PHOTO OF PAMEELA ANDERSON?A. COZ PEOPLE STARTED LICKING THE WRONG SIDE OF IT FOR PASTING THEM ON THE ENVELOPES.
 

Why sex is better than golf:No green fee,smaller holeneed

Why sex is better than golf:No green fee,smaller holeneed only 1 stick & 2 balls,more strokesnoisy playing permittedwet conditions ideal!
 

Girls are like phones, we like to be held and talked too,

Girls are like phones, we like to be held and talked too, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
 

LOVE AND SEX Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the

LOVE AND SEX Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and play the game!
 

Womans periodWhats the closest thing to a womans

Woman's periodWhats the closest thing to a womans period?Your salary.It comes once a month,lasts About 3 or 4 days and if it doesnt come,everythings fucked
 

Q:- Why is waist called a waist? A:- coz anything above

Q:- Why is waist called a waist? A:- coz anything above the pussy n below the tits Is a ?waste?
 

What r the 3 biggest tragedies in a mans life?Life sucks!

what r the 3 biggest tragedies in a man's life?Life sucks! job sucks!................ and wife doesnt.
 

A Guy BUYS 4 TYRES BCOZ THEY WERE CHEAP.HIS WIFE SHOUTS,

A Guy BUYS 4 TYRES BCOZ THEY WERE CHEAP.HIS WIFE SHOUTS, WHY DID U BUY TYRES, WHEN WE DONT HAVE A CAR. Guy SHOUTED BACK, DO I SAY ANYTHING WHEN U BUY BRA...!!
 

Behind every SUCCESSFUL woman, there is a SATISFIED

Behind every SUCCESSFUL woman, there is a SATISFIED man,but behind a SATISFIED woman there is an EXHAUSTED man...
 

SmokingReduces ur life by 5 mins.Sex increases ur life by

SmokingReduces ur life by 5 mins.Sex increases ur life by 10 min.So the conclusion is that a f**king smoker never dies!
 

Skin Meets SkinWhen is that the skin meets skin, Hair

Skin Meets SkinWhen is that the skin meets skin, Hair meets hair n balls disappear.
 

A prostitutes nursery rhyme:One two lets

A prostitute's nursery rhyme:One two lets screw,Three four I'm a whore,Five six suck the dick,Seven eight ejaculate,Nine ten fuck me again.
 

Nipple Nipple dont be farLet me press u in my carup above

Nipple Nipple dont be farLet me press u in my carup above the chest so highalways milky never drylet me suck u dont feel shyin the brassieres u will die
 

Newtons 4th law : To and fro motion gives hand full of

Newton's 4th law : "To and fro motion gives hand full of white lotion".NEWTONS'S 5th Law : Length of the pole is directly proportional to depth of the hole.
 

Long LifeQ: What is the secret of long life?A: Morning 2

Long LifeQ: What is the secret of long life?A: Morning 2 eggs,evening 2 pegs and night 2 legs!
 

WHAT IS KISS ? A:) VERY SIMPLE ITSS AN INQUIRY IN THE TOP

WHAT IS KISS ? A:) VERY SIMPLE ITSS AN INQUIRY IN THE TOP FLOOR, ABOUT THE VACANCY IN GROUND FLOOR....
 
 
« Previous   14  15     Next » 
 
  Categories  
 
 
 
   
[netinsert=0.0.1.4.11.1]