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Dirty SMS Jokes

Every married man keeps wondering every evening: Should

Every married man keeps wondering every evening: Should i go out and look at what i cannot fuck or ... Stay home and fuck what i cannot look at?
 

Touch it gently... Put ur finger inside.. If da hole is

Touch it gently... Put ur finger inside.. If da hole is big put three fingers.. Rub it up & down gently....... that's the right way of washing the glass!!!
 

What do u get when u have sex with a judge, banker &

What do u get when u have sex with a judge, banker & architect? Judge- Honourable discharge, Banker- Premature withdrawal, Architect- Illegal erection!!
 

AGE OF BOOBS: 14 to 16 LEMON, 17 to 22 ORANGE, 23 to

AGE OF BOOBS: 14 to 16 LEMON, 17 to 22 ORANGE, 23 to 28 MANGO, 29 to 40 TENDER COCONUT, 41 to 60 USED PILLOW, Beyond 60 DEFLATED BALLOON.
 

Q: Why r breasts located in the upper half of a womans

Q: Why r breasts located in the upper half of a woman's body? A: Coz, milk should be kept away from the pussy?
 

A friend like u is not like boobs coz everyone sucks

A friend like u is not like boobs coz everyone sucks them. Not like vagina coz it tears. U r like a penis coz it always stands when needed!
 

Q: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has

Q: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ? . . . . . . . HEART !!!
 

During a sexual session the girl says: u r like a mobile

During a sexual session the girl says: "u r like a mobile phone!" Boy: "Do I vibrate a lot?" Girl: "No, when u get in to the tunnel u loose da network"
 

She demanded I gave her affection, So I opened her legs 4

She demanded I gave her affection, So I opened her legs 4 inspection, I found her quite nice... till I noticed her lice and immediatly lost my erection.
 

What is fashion designing? Too many brains, with too many

What is fashion designing? Too many brains, with too many ideas, working on too little pieces of cloth.. to cover 2 little tits of a model.
 

Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one

Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Ask the salesman who opens up 100 million packets of shoes before a woman actually buys one!
 

Q: Do you know why girls dont keep thier mobiles in

Q: Do you know why girls don't keep thier mobiles in shirt pocket? A: B'coz can't get signals near hills & mountains.
 

Q: Do you know why boys keep thier mobiles in pant

Q: Do you know why boys keep thier mobiles in pant pockets? A: B'coz signals are high near the tower....
 

Q: Why are the condoms transparent ? A: So that the sperm

Q: Why are the condoms transparent ? A: So that the sperm can atleast enjoy the scenery!
 

Military Etiquettes of Penis:- 1)It Salutes d deservin

Military Etiquettes of Penis:- 1)It Salutes d deservin ppl. 2)It Conquers d Virgin Land 3)It Marches thru thivk Jungles 4)Fights till last breath!!!
 

There are 4 ways to love: Hand in hand. That in

There are 4 ways to love: Hand in hand. That in hand. Hand in that. That in that.
 

Colour of underwear reflects your mood. red: wild black:

Colour of underwear reflects your mood. red: wild black: sexy blue: romantic pink: seductive white: calm yellow: time to change it!...
 

What is LONG & HARD, has a Hole at the TIP & when

What is LONG & HARD, has a Hole at the TIP & when INSERTED into a WET, HAIRY and TIGHT HOLE, makes U feel better? . . . . . VICKS INHALER
 

Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one

Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg? A: Because not one will stop and ask 4 directions.
 

Baa Baa black dick have you any sperm? Yes mam,yes mam

Baa Baa black dick have you any sperm? Yes mam,yes mam two balls firm, None for my gal frnd n none for my ex but all for the horny girl reading this text !!
 

Man & Women during sex time Man: oh! baby ur breasts are

Man & Women during sex time Man: oh! baby ur breasts are so big but have no nipples on them. Women: Oh! you fool... u are licking my buttocks...!
 

A good lecture should be like a girls mini-skirt Short

A good lecture should be like a girl's mini-skirt Short enough to create an interest and long enough to cover a subject...
 
 
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