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Dirty SMS Jokes

Roses are red Violets are blue Shorter the skirt Baby

Roses are red Violets are blue Shorter the skirt Baby better the view
 

Cricketer describing a nude woman There is no cover,

Cricketer describing a nude woman There is no cover, There is no extra cover, There r 2 silly points, 2 fine legs & a deep gully, With little grass on pitch!
 

No boys no love, no love no sex, no sex no people, no

No boys no love, no love no sex, no sex no people, no people no school, no school no problems!!
 

Ding-dong open your frock, I have a key, You have a

Ding-dong open your frock, I have a key, You have a lock!!
 

Q:) What is common between girlfriend and win XP. A:)

Q:) What is common between girlfriend and win XP. A:) Both support plug and play.
 

My magical watch says u arent wearing any panties. Oh,

My magical watch says u aren't wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!
 

Boys say its great, boys say its fine. 9 months later

Boys say it's great, boys say it's fine. 9 months later they say it's not mine !
 

What is the resemblance between a windscreen wiper and a

What is the resemblance between a windscreen wiper and a woman? When they are wet, they do not squeak any more!
 

AN IN-DEPTH STUDY HAS SHOWN THAT THE BIRD FLU VIRUS

AN IN-DEPTH STUDY HAS SHOWN THAT THE BIRD FLU VIRUS HITS SMALL COCKS FIRST. I THOUGHT I'D WARN YOU IMMEDIATELY!!
 

Cant believe after all the shit they have been through

Can't believe after all the shit they have been through they're still together. Who? Your bum cheeks!!
 

Point of View Sex is the only activity where u start at

Point of View Sex is the only activity where u start at the top & work ur way to the bottom, while getting a raise.
 

Q: What does PMS stand for? . . . . A: Penis Must

Q: What does PMS stand for? . . . . A: Penis Must Suffer
 

Sex is good, sex is fine Doggy style or 69 Just 4 fun or

Sex is good, sex is fine Doggy style or 69 Just 4 fun or getting paid everyone loves getting laid So if u want me in the sack, lick ur lips n text me back
 

After gr8 sex, she lies there stroking his penis. He

After gr8 sex, she lies there stroking his penis. He asks: Do you want more sex? She says: No. Just admiring ur penis. I used to have one just like it.
 

Wats da similarity between bungee jumping & sex ? In

Wat's da similarity between bungee jumping & sex ? In both u go up & down, both r exiting adventurous & dangerous & in both cases, if the rubber breaks U R SCREWED
 

When you dont know whether to love or hate, when you are

When you dont know whether to love or hate, when you are in a confused state, dont feel & dont debate, just sit alone &.... MASTURBATE...!
 

Teacher: What do u call a man that doesnt use

Teacher: What do u call a man that doesn't use contraceptives? Littel Jonhy: Daddy
 

A girl asks a priest. Whats devil, hell & heaven?

A girl asks a priest. What's devil, hell & heaven? Priest: between my 2 legs is d devil, between ur 2 legs is hell, lock d devil into hell & you'll see heaven.
 

Define tragedy? Its when your zip gets stuck when its

Define tragedy? Its when your zip gets stuck when its the time to f*ck.
 

Q: Whats the best form of birth control after 50? A:

Q: What's the best form of birth control after 50? A: Nudity
 

A newly married gilr says to her 70 yr old hubby

A newly married gilr says to her 70 yr old hubby - "Darling lets go upstairs and have sex." Hubby- "Make a choice, I cant do both!!"
 

Women life is very difficult morning washes clothes noon

Women life is very difficult morning washes clothes noon dries clothes evening iron clothes night remove clothes and late night searches clothes!!
 
 
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