Funny SMS


 
 
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One Liners SMS

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
 

You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You

You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough to worry.
 

You may be recognized soon.

You may be recognized soon. Hide.
 

Yes, this is my pickup. No, I will not help you

Yes, this is my pickup. No, I will not help you move.
 

Y did the jelly baby go 2 school? Cuz he wanted

Y did the jelly baby go 2 school? Cuz he wanted to be a smarty.
 

Who lit the fuse on your

Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
 

When money talks, the criminal

When money talks, the criminal walks
 

When an apple is green, it's ready to pluck,

When an apple is green, it's ready to pluck, When a girl is sixteen she's ready to ..WOOPS...wrong number....
 

Whats the best thing about babies? MAKING

Whats the best thing about babies? MAKING EM!
 

What u call dog with no legs? Don't matter

What u call dog with no legs? Don't matter wot u call him, he ain't gonna come.
 

We will now upgrade your brain, please

We will now upgrade your brain, please wait...searching...searching...still searching...sorry NO BRAIN found
 

Umh, that's a nice set of legs, what time do

Umh, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
 

U got Sex Appeal...U got Class...U got Moves...U

U got Sex Appeal...U got Class...U got Moves...U got da Face, da Body....shit...I got wrong number...SORRY :)
 

U good at math? Well, add a bed, subtract ur

U good at math? Well, add a bed, subtract ur cloths, divide ur legs and we can multiply!
 

Ths msg cn only b read by a SEXY person -

Ths msg cn only b read by a SEXY person -
Nothing? Soz, I guess UR just not SEXY But hey, i Didnt force it ugly, so get lost!
 

There are no personal problems which cannot be

There are no personal problems which cannot be solved through suitable application of high explosives.
 

The secret to success is knowing who to blame

The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
 

The first half of our lives is ruined by our

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.
 

The best way to a man's heart is to saw his

The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
 

Sorry, I don't date outside my

Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
 

Roses are red, Pickles are green, I like ur legs

Roses are red, Pickles are green, I like ur legs and all that's between!
 

Q: Why did the blond get fired from the banana

Q: Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation?
A: Because she threw out all the bent ones.
 
 
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