Funny SMS


 
 
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One Liners SMS

If you haven't got anything nice to say

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me
 

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
 

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
 

I've got the ship, you've got the

I've got the ship, you've got the harbour ... what say we tie up for the night?
 

I'm not your type. I'm not

I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable
 

I think it is time I tell you what people are

I think it is time I tell you what people are saying behind your back...! Nice Ass.
 

I remind u that the most powerful force in the

I remind u that the most powerful force in the universe is sms gossip.
 

I pretend to work here - they pretend to pay

I pretend to work here - they pretend to pay me.
 

I once had One2One with a Virgin, she teased me

I once had One2One with a Virgin, she teased me till i had an Erikson, sucked me til my face went Orange, til I busted my Siemen all over her Nokias!
 

I need a kiss, I need touched, I need your love,

I need a kiss, I need touched, I need your love, I need warmth, I need hugs, I need sex, I need YOU!
 

I might be in the basement. I'll go upstairs

I might be in the basement. I'll go upstairs and check.
 

I like your style, you got sheer class, but

I like your style, you got sheer class, but babe, my god, I WANT YOUR ASS!
 

I like feminists; I think they're

I like feminists; I think they're cute
 

I get enough exercise just pushing my

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
 

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem
 

How to impress woman: kiss her, hug her,

How to impress woman: kiss her, hug her, compliment her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her
How to impress a man: Show up naked with beer.
 

How many letters in the Alphabet? 19, cuz ET

How many letters in the Alphabet? 19, cuz ET went home on a UFO and the FBI went after him.
 

How do u occupy an idiot? Press down - Press

How do u occupy an idiot? Press down - Press up...Press Down...!
 

How do u keep an idiot amused? Watch this

How do u keep an idiot amused? Watch this message until it goes away!
 

Hickory Dickory Dock, dis bitch woz suckin me

Hickory Dickory Dock, dis bitch woz suckin me c**k, da clock struck 2, i dumped me goo, & dropped her at da end of da block.
 

Hi - I am a virus and am entering your brain

Hi - I am a virus and am entering your brain right now...wait, hold on, sorry unable to find brain...leaving now...
 

Hey, there is Hot-sex, Group-sex, safe-sex,

Hey, there is Hot-sex, Group-sex, safe-sex, phone-sex, speedy-sex, crazy-sex and for people wid ur face - NO SEX!
 
 
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