Funny SMS


 
 
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One Liners SMS

HELP: Cops are after a suspect who smart, witty,

HELP: Cops are after a suspect who smart, witty, sexy and good lookin...so where you gonna hide ME?
 

He who laughs last thinks

He who laughs last thinks slowest.
 

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
 

Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, sweet, charming,

Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, sweet, charming, witty, hilarious, friendly...well enough about ME! How are you?
 

Girls think boys are fit. Boys think girls are

Girls think boys are fit. Boys think girls are sexy. But hey, no worries - I sure science will come up with somin to help u.
 

Girls are like phones. We love to be held,

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
 

Fuck Me...are those

Fuck Me...are those real?
 

FRIEND SEARCH: Friend detector

FRIEND SEARCH: Friend detector activated...calibration complete, now searching.....still searching....still searching......sorry, no friends found.
 

First the engagement ring, then the wedding

First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.
 

Don't feel sad...don't feel

Don't feel sad...don't feel blue...Frankenstein was ugly too...
 

Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is

Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?
 

Conserve toilet paper, use both

Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.
 

Celibacy is not

Celibacy is not hereditary
 

Bud, what happen??? tried callin many time,

Bud, what happen??? tried callin many time, everytime i get operator sayin 'Sorry, The Subscriber U R Calling is having Sex, Please try again later.'
 

Bride's Dad hands a note to the groom:

Bride's Dad hands a note to the groom: 'GOODS DELIVERED ARE NOT RETURNABLE.' Groom gave another note back to father: 'CONTRACT VOID IF SEAL IS BROKEN.'
 

Born Free........Taxed to

Born Free........Taxed to Death.
 

Born Free. . . . .Taxed to

Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.
 

Born free . . . Taxed to

Born free . . . Taxed to death
 

Bloke calls work : "Boss, cannae come in tae

Bloke calls work : "Boss, cannae come in tae work. I'm sick"
Boss asks: "How sick are u?"
Bloke: "I'm F****ing my Sis, how sick is that???"
 

BIGAMIST --- A heavy fog in

BIGAMIST --- A heavy fog in Italy
 

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
 

Bad sex is better then a good day in

Bad sex is better then a good day in school.
 
 
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